due for a check-in

(I’m writing this post from my drafts, dated/abandoned from March of this year… oops~)

Three months since my last entry. I’ve been focusing on starting fresh with the current semester (now midway through coursework) and continuing with my independent creative projects. My ability to stay productive is okay, probably a lot better than last semester.

As of late, I began exploring my local areas to satisfy my fixation for “(sub)urban excursions,” which had to be subdued in light of the pandemic and lockdown. Availing to local libraries to do research, study, or browse new books have been the highlight of my exploration! As someone who rarely went to the library growing up, mainly due to parents’ busy work schedules, it is now an exciting event for me to go to the libraries in my area and borrow a book, instead of buying books at the bookstore to take home (which I still do… but am now practicing a little more restraint).

I am also trying to come back to writing in a journal to unpack the many thoughts that come racketeering in my mind. It did not occur to me how much I hesitated to write in a journal, to refuse to record the day’s events because I would rather forget how mundane my life has become. Or to ignore recurring thoughts that demand interrogation and over-analysis of why they come up. I guess I cannot handle being at this age and facing the many years ahead of hardships in adulthood. Anyway.

This may not be an enlightening update, especially for anyone who is visiting this blog for the first time. I no longer have much of a social media presence like I used to, and this is the only residence I have on the cyberspace. (My blog is linked on my graduate program’s website.) I have further contemplated on removing any other traces of my Internet existence that I do not remember carving in the last few years, because the idea of being perceived transformed into a growing fear… I guess this is due to witnessing how much one can divulge too much about themselves online, then have that material come back to them in unpleasant ways. Is that irrational for me to fear? (Will this post come back to haunt me, should I ever become a public figure?)

I just feel like this blog should remain permanent, as a testament to my life. But I cannot promise that I will be more active in posting. I felt like writing a new post, after a recent class discussion about forms of writing in the digital age. It was like, “Oh right, I have a blog! Let me update it real quick~”

Maybe this will be my final post for the year, in which case: Take care, Reader, happy holidays, and see you next year!

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