Newness

In an attempt to declutter and reorganize my proactive online presence, I have changed the blog title and web address: amenaje.com

Only one website to my name (which, logistically and financially speaking, is more convenient for me to handle~), and I intend to stick with this. However, the lens in which I write anything on this blog remains the same. I will still share my Filipinoness that is most unique to my voice and my perspective on life out there!

Will I ever use this name for my own published worked? Maybe for now…

I don’t know what I’m doing

A year older, but not feeling particularly different. But I believe that I am beginning to embrace a new approach to how I make movements both in real life and on the Internet, if the latter is most possible for me to do.

I had considered deleting my personal website altogether, as I am not sure if I want to address myself by my own name (albeit a very condensed version that was intended to sound catchy and relieve me the trouble of signing out my full name). But I already paid for the domain and website plan recently for another year… so I will think it over until the next billing cycle. For now, that website remains “under construction”.

This blog, I do plan to keep. With regards to my current master’s course study, this blog remains my only live document of my life, through different waves of time. But I find it difficult to write about myself nowadays, even to myself, in my private journals. There is not much for me to talk about that would sound interesting. Not especially now, as we are still under a global crisis of various scopes.

If anyone happens to continue following this blog, I appreciate your time and consideration. I cannot guarantee that I will be very active in writing here; the whim to update this space comes and goes. As of now, I am trying to build a more structured schedule around coursework again. I have yet to create a concrete plan for my master’s thesis, even though I am far from needing to work on it right away. At least I should have a good idea of what it will be about and how I envision the final product.

I might end up changing the name of the blog, just because.

I’m okay now

Re-reading my last entry, I realized how concerning it might have sounded to anyone who has come across this blog.

I thought it was a matter of time to give an update.

These past few months were spent in contemplative and reflective solitude–or more like, AFK/AFP(hone). I focused on paying more attention to my immediate environment and my own person. Slowly but surely, I was able to find some peace of mind that helped me to appreciate what I have now and how far I have survived through the trials and tribulations of the past. It might be hard for me to explain what I mean, but I would like to flesh this out more when I feel ready to do so.

The greatest motivation I found during my time away here was entering a new venture on storytelling. Now, I prefer to keep this a private matter, as I am trying out being anonymous online (*side eyes this blog*), but this venture has given me tremendous creative freedom and most especially, a wonderful community of other creators who have been encouraging and supportive! I am currently releasing installments of an independent project that took three months of tiring work, fluctuating sleep patterns, and shoddy appetites… but in this way, I felt like I was able to heal from the heartbreak I was experiencing in the summer. Each time I worked on this project, I felt like I was slowly returning to the roots of my writer/storyteller lineage…

In other news, I will return to my grad studies for the next semester. I would like to come back to the academic space (remotely/virtually) with a new direction in my work for that. Taking LOA helped me a lot to reassess and recalibrate what matters to me the most, as a writer, as a person, and as a storyteller. I am hoping that this master’s project goes well, with a new mapping of my personal narrative.

That’s all I can think of to say. I actually need to continue working on my personal project to meet my own deadlines! Which has worked well for me, and it gives my weekly planner a better purpose~

(I should also note that I deleted most of my social media. I don’t plan to return to any of those platforms because cutting that portion of my existence has helped me mentally & emotionally~)